Strange

I haven't had to think about my miscarriage in a while. It happened over 6 months ago. When you put something like that behind you, you just hope that you never have to talk about it again.

At work a few days ago I ran into a woman that I hadn't seen since I've been working there again. She asked if I was pregnant. I said no. She said someone told her I was. I said "I was." She asked if I had changed my mind. I awkwardly told her that it wasn't a choice I'd made.

I had my little freak out moment in my head, talked to Kelli about it briefly, then my work day went on. There's nothing to say about it that will make me feel better so I've just made myself push it aside so life without tears can go on.

Well, today I was reading a blog that I had run across (Travis Cotrell) on my cousin's blog (Ginger) and then somehow made my way ever further from there and clicked on a link of another blog from Travis's (Baby Bangs). I just thought it was a silly name for a blog so I wanted to check it out. I scanned through a few entries and came across one where this woman had been terrified when she was left in the doctors office alone after the nurse couldn't find her baby's heartbeat. Her story ended up ok. Another nurse came in and found it, but she mentioned at the end of the entry that she can name off a list of people she knows that have not had the sweet relief of hearing good news. And then she said:

"I am so sorry for everyone who has gone through such a loss, for everyone whose hope deferred has made them heartsick. (Prov. 13:12a) I pray that if you haven't already, you would know your longing fulfilled and that it would be like a tree of life. (Prov. 13:12b)"

I wish I could explain the weirdness of these findings better on here. 1. It's just odd how I run across this strangers blog and read this. And 2. The mention of the tree of life in the bible verse is even more a testament that God was probably betting I'd see this because last night a girl I don't even know said she liked my tree of life tattoo on my arm. I got the tattoo to be a "family tree" because it's right under my family crest, but sure.....tree of life.

I wikipedia'd Tree of Life and it said it's often relating to fertility. I'm just sayin...