Time Warp

What is going on with my life right now? I’m in a constant state of boredom. I’m bored with work, school, everything. Day to day life for me right now feels like watching paint dry. Wake up, go to work, go home, do homework, watch tv, go to bed. Repeat the next day. And the day after. And the day after, etc.

I say all this like there’s supposed to be something else going on. I don’t know what I expect to be happening.

And then there’s the whole living with my parents thing. I’m a grown ass woman. A married, grown ass woman. I don’t want to be, nor do I enjoy living with my parents. Almost every single night when I’m laying in bed I bug Chris about this. There’s nothing we can do right now. Our financial state forces us to stay put until a few things are paid off. Then we’ll be able to afford a very average 2 bedroom apartment. I say 2 bedrooms because I’m hoping to have the baby thing happening soon. Then there’s that….the baby thing.

Why was it that when we weren’t trying to get pregnant, we did. And now we’ve been trying for 3 months and so many problems have come up. I know 3 months doesn’t seem like a long time to people that try for years and have no results like my brother and his wife. Just think about my situation though…..there was a completely unplanned, accidental pregnancy that happened before. So why is getting pregnant on purpose soooooooo hard?

Can I just skip all the bullshit and get right to being a normal, married, responsible person?

All I need for this to happen is about $5,500.

Someone, for the love of God, give me $5,500 so I can stop being a waste of space.