Realism
I'm wondering if I can try to put my thoughts into words on here without giving off the impression that I'm heartless.
Ok. I'm not mushy. I never have been. I don't stare into Chris's eyes and say "You're perfect." In fact, that sort of thing makes me want to puke. And I'm wondering if I'm really the only female in the whole world that doesn't want to say or hear that stuff.
I've heard stories recently about things that girls do, say, want done, and want said to them from a few friends that are in dating situations. It absolutely makes no sense to me how someone (male or female) could enjoy being fed a line or feeding a line to someone else. And when they accept some kind of romantic/comedy movie-esque act, they're rewarding unoriginality. Do people honestly feel the urge to stare into someones eyes and say something cheesy? Like, is that really something that people feel? Am I totally wrong in thinking that they've just been programed to think that's what someone wants to hear? I just can't make myself believe that someone would ACTUALLY feel compelled to be all starry eyed and say something stupid. In return, I don't want to hear it.
I had a boyfriend once that slow danced with me by the car while singing "You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you..."
I let it happen at the time because it would have been rude to stop him and tell him that I hated it. I also learned years later that he has danced and sang that song to many a girlfriends. Which is really only one point of my argument.
I'm just saying - I don't want bullshit lines. Chris knows better. I'm a realist and I don't believe that Chris REALLY wants to tell me how amazing and beautiful I am over a glass of wine and rose pedals strewn about. REALLY, he'll slap my butt and say "Girl, you're lookin fine today!"
Now that I can believe.
posted by Shaunna Faye @ 8:38 AM
3 Comments:
Agreed for the most part.
One shouldn't feed a line or do something mushy for the sake of getting somewhere with the recipient. I think it should be done only when there's absolutely nothing to be gained by doing it...other than having it off your chest.
I have written Kimberly a love letter here and there over the past 11 years. Most of the time it'll be on Valentines Day or our anniversary or something, but I don't think the reason cheapens the letter. Truth is, I have meant everything I have said in these letters, and really, there has been a fair amount of mush.
I guess my point is that there's a good time for everything in my opinion. Even if a couple isn't all lovie-dovie, if the love they share is a deep one, it should be addressed and treated as such at least once in a while.
Having said that, I still utter the statement "Cohen, Mommy's lookin' goooood today!" at least once every other day.
I think what I'm getting at is that I don't think you and Chris really love each other.
Ha ha ha. Yeah, you're right. We don't love each other.
This is my point though - I don't like love letters and I don't want one. It may all be very true statments in the letter, but I don't want it. And I guess since I don't like it, it makes me wonder why other people do. What's the appeal?
Ask Chris how much I say "I love you." It's like, never. Every so often he tells me I have to tell him because he likes to hear it.
I guess I'm just one of those people that doesn't need to hear it. It wouldn't make a difference to me if Chris never said it again.
I just read some old cards from ex-boyfriends the other day and i laughed and laughed... i can't remember the last time goose and I actually said the words I love you... in the morning before he leaves sometimes he yells, "love" and the boys (and me if I am awake enough) say it back... and i don't think he has ever actually said "you are beautiful"... he does tell me I'm lookin so good though... works for me. I do say I love you ALL the time to my kids though... i have gotten a little more sentimental since having them.
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