Listen.

Listen. Pregnant women do not respond well to people (especially males or females who have never been pregnant) telling them that they cannot consume something.

Please, do not tell me what I'm not allowed to have caffeine or fish. It makes my blood boil, and these days (ok, I'll be honest - even before I was pregnant) I have little patience for people trying to talk to me about something that they know nothing about.

So, yes. I can have SOME caffeine. And I can have SOME fish. I am aware of the amounts/types that are considered to be acceptable. I, unlike these people, have done the research.

Also, am I the only one that finds it a little bit offensive that someone would ask us if we're planning on taking Martha to church and then have them tell us that we MUST take her to church? I was raised in church. I know it's important. But I don't think it's that important to bring my baby to church so they can sit in childcare. We will bring her to church when she's old enough to understand why she's in this big building with a bunch of dressed up people. Before that point, we will teach her about Jesus at home. (Just like how Cohen can pick out the baby Jesus out of a line-up of wise men). If we bring her to church before then, it will be so Chris and I can go. So, I don't think we MUST take her to church right when she's born. Also, I don't think I need people telling me that I must. Believe it or not - I do know a little bit about what I'm doing. And those times that I don't, I will ask someone. (And that someone I ask will probably be my Mom because she's been doing this a long time and I trust her opinion.)

Ok, so just a little lesson for anyone that might want to talk to a pregnant woman about anything pregnancy or baby related:

1. Do not say "You can't have caffeine!" when you see me drinking my Dr. Pepper. If you decide to mention anything about it, I'd recommend saying something to the effect of "Oh, I didn't know it was ok for pregnant women to have caffeine."

2. When a pregnant woman is complaining about something - we'll use nausea for this example - don't say "You should try drinking ginger ale." Because, most likely, this woman has already tried EVERYTHING in her power to stop the nausea. If you want to say something about ginger ale, ASK HER if she's tried it. Don't assume that she has never heard about it. I'm appreciative for those (Kimberly, my Mom, Meredith) that have used this rule wisely. I'm assuming that's because they've all had babies and know how annoying it is for people to tell them what to do.

3. When in doubt, shut your mouth. It's better to say nothing then to piss off someone that probably weighs a lot more than you right now.