Reagan

Well, I did it. I found Reagan a new home. I've never given up a pet before. It was really, really, really hard. I almost started crying when I was saying bye to her in the new owners house. I managed to hold it together until I got in the car, but I had a good cry on the way home. It feels so wrong to pass her around like she has been. I hate that we had to do it, but it was for the best. (Doesn't that sound so cliche? God.) We'd only had her for a few months, but in those few months we realized that we aren't dog people. As much as I really wanted to be a dog person, I'm just not. I need a low maintenance pet. Cats are perfect for that. They keep to themselves most of the time, don't have to be let outside to pee, can eat out of a feeder without over-eating, and I don't have to worry about them hurting Martha. Seriously though, I'm still getting choked up about having to find Reagan a new home. I feel 100% guilty and totally to blame for her being in her 3rd home in her short 6 month life.

The one thing I feel good about is that she's with a very nice couple and a nice doggie playmate where I know she'll be loved and taken care of. I went and met with them today, got to see how the dogs interacted with each other, and was able to check out their house to make sure she'd be going into a good environment. I know I made the right choice with this couple, so at least I can sleep ok tonight knowing that she's in good hands. I just REALLY hope that she's in her permanent home now. It breaks my heart to think that she could easily be given to someone else and I would never know about it. All I can do is just hope that she's happy. I said a little prayer for her (is it weird to pray for a dog?) just asking that she feels safe and loved.

Now I just have to get back to my normal daily life without her at my feet all the time. My house feels weird right now without her.

5 weeks

Baby girl is getting her days and nights mixed up. This will not be ok when I go back to work in 3 weeks. She will usually sleep half the night just fine, but then after a feeding she's wide awake and wants to hang out. Bleh.

Reagan needs a new home. I wasn't 100% sure if I wanted to start looking for her a new family until today. Reagan was literally 1/4 inch away from clawing Martha in the eye a few hours ago. Luckily, Martha is a trouper and it didn't even phase her that she just got her face stepped on my a dog, but it scared the poo out of me! I added the mark on her face to the scratch she got on her head from Reagan when she was 2 weeks old and decided that this is just not going to work for me. It was a nice idea having a fun dog around for Martha to grow up with and all that jazz, but the dangers of a clumsy and hyper puppy mixed with a newborn baby are just too much for this new mom to handle. So, I'll go ahead and say it...I was wrong. We should not have gotten a puppy. I learned my lesson. It won't happen again. I put an ad on Craigslist 10 minutes after Martha almost lost her eye today. We'll see how that goes.

Chunky is 9 pounds and 4 ounces at 5 weeks. It's average, but her cheeks say otherwise.

3 weeks

My maternity leave is dwindling and I can't help but wish I could stay home with Martha every day. How is it fair that someone else gets to be with her the majority of the day? Luckily that's my mom, but still...I'd rather it be me. I'm going to miss so much!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!

3 weeks old and so expressive...

The most beautiful girl in the world...

How am I supposed to leave this and go back to work?