Blue

How can you go wrong with a beer that has a slight taste of blueberries? You can't. SweetWater Blue. Mmmmmmmm. And it's made right here in Georgia.

I found myself very distracted at the beginning of church last night. I sat on the third row by myself. I prefer to sit alone so I don't lose concentration. So it was me, then a couple slid in next to me, then all the sudden almost every seat of every row around me filled up. But they weren't filled up with my friends or even people that I've seen around. These people looked like they stepped right out of their youth group, into the GA State dorm, and then hopped right over to Trinity. They all turned around and waved to each other as a new one appeared. There wasn't anything wrong with these people....I just found myself wondering, "Where did you come from?!" So strange...

Also, our gas bill for last month was $230. I think we need to start using our fireplaces.

I want a beer like you wouldn't believe right now.

I saw the sign. And it opened up my eyes.

I was talking with a friend today about the fact that you can pretty much make anything into seeming like it’s a sign or a calling from God. I think it’s pretty ridiculous that people will take the smallest or biggest thing and turn it and twist it and make it into something that it isn’t. I’ve written before about how people often use key phrases when talking about God stuff and how it bothers me oh so much. I think this….making things into something they aren’t….bothers me more. It kind of makes me wonder what non-christians think when they hear about how Sally found a penny on the sidewalk and took it to mean that she was supposed to serve in the homeless ministry. Or about how Billy got caught in the rain the day that he had cheated on a test and he took it to mean that was God crying because he was so disappointed. Don’t get me wrong…I do believe God talks to us in weird ways. I’ve thought before that I’ve gotten some words from God in odd places, but I didn’t see these things often. It’s almost as though some people are reaching so far to get something…anything…from God that they will do the twist and make something up and force this false feeling on themselves like it’s real and from the Almighty upstairs. Any time this sort of stuff starts to be talked about I tend to have to leave the conversation before I accidentally yell out “Bullshit!”

Betty fell down and bruised her arm. The same arm that she hit her brother with yesterday. This must be a sign that she did wrong!

Maybe she should hit herself with that arm hard enough to knock some sense into her.

Confessions

It’s so cliché when you’re single (or available...however you want to say it) to go on and on about how awesome your friends are and blah blah blah when most of the time all you want is someone just like everyone else that’s around you. I’m sure some people actually mean it and I’ve been known to say it occasionally too, but I find that most of the time I’m selfish and it’s not so much that I’m glad that I have my friends around because they’re so awesome (even though they really are), it’s more that I’m glad that some of them are alone just like me. It’s horrible and selfish and I shouldn’t wish loneliness on anyone. But it just makes me feel good to know that I’m not the only one.

Since I’m in the confession mood today I’ll go ahead and add another...

I’m incredibly jealous of the people I know that make it look so easy to be open about their relationship with God. I’m open about it, but I’m open about not knowing where I stand. I’m envious of the people that seem to have their shit together (as much as one ever can really have their shit together) and make it seem so easy to do “Christ-like” things. I’ve never been able to bring myself to ask someone to go to church with me. Or ask someone to pray for me. Or tell anyone how I do know that God is real, but I just don’t know how I know that. Some people just ooze Godliness and I hate that I don’t. Maybe someday I’ll be at that point. Or maybe I’ll struggle with being a beacon of light for the rest of my life. I can't believe I just said "beacon of light."

What other confessions do I have for today?
I don’t really like Elliott Smith. I think his voice sucks.