Make the world brand new. Take the time for you.

I find myself scoffing at the mere mention that anyone could possibly be successful at being a musician. I take that back..."being successful" is such a loose term. I scoff at the ones that say they will be rich and famous. They talk about how they will get signed and their band will take off and be immediately popular. I've seen the trials and hardships of musicians second hand (I say second and not first only because I wasn't actually in the band myself). I was there when the excitement of being recognized and the possibility of getting a good record deal set in. And I was there when reality came crashing down on everyone's heads. After seeing how difficult it was (is) for someone I used to be so close to...I've learned to take things lightly. I've learned to expect the worst. That none of the trillion musicians I know will ever make it into any sort of popularity.

I suppose that's how I handle everything though...very lightly.

And that might be why I've always been ok with people (guys) coming and going in my life. Because I expected the worst. I expected them to leave. Just like I expect none of my incredibly talented friends to make it big in the music industry.

You can have a million possibilities that you'll get a good deal, you can get signed and dropped, you can get sponsorships and lose them. Nothing is ever certain. Just like you can tell someone you love them, make plans for the future, and say you'll never leave. But you do. Nothing is ever certain.

Maybe I'll be proven wrong though. Maybe someone will make it. And maybe someone won't leave. Actually, I'm counting on it.

"Tomorrow is blank. We'll just fill it in with our own answers."

One of my bff's Adam got fired from the law office today. So did my ex Matt. I still haven't gotten the story on why.

It's so weird to me that everyone I know is getting fired lately.

I seriously can't think when the woman next to me is on the phone. She's so loud.

Right this very instant:
"Since I've got this stuff pulled up right here."
"Well, of course not."
"There's one on Boulevard."
"Uh huh."
"29228 Boulevard."
"5 bedrooms. 6 Baths."
"6780 Square feet."
"Because they're on the water."

See...it's not even interesting conversation.

Shut up shut up shut up.

I'm gettin my hur did this week. Booya.

Pink cause you are so very.

I don't normally smoke....well, except for lately. I got majorly stressed out about a month ago and have smoked on the occasion ever since. And by "on the occasion" I mean "any time I'm driving." I will never be a smoker, but 3 or 4 a day whilst driving isn't hurting anyone, right?

My whole point of that was to say that I bought these two things at the gas station today and it made me happy that they match.






These, of course, (but not on purpose I promise!) match my pink RAZR.




You'd never guess that my favorite color is actually orange.

And all I saw was happiness.

I wrote this a month ago and had it saved as a draft and just now realized that I never actually posted it. Since it's been a little while I guess I'll post it...

"Kindness is more than deeds. It is an attitude, an expression, a look, a touch. It is anything that lifts another person." ~ C. Neil Strait

I've been asked and sometime wondered myself why I still love some people that have hurt me. Most would have walked away and washed their hands of the person(s). Admitedly, I have done that with some. But with others I've stuck around. I've formed friendships. I've loved when I didn't feel like they deserved my love. I've forgiven when I don't think they deserved my forgiveness. And I've been kind when I've felt like being spitful. No no....not with everyone....I'm at fault for some that I've walked away from because the hurt was just too great.

When deep down inside my vengeful nature wants me to wish failure upon them I have friends like Christina that remind me of what my prayer for them should be. I prayed that prayer when I was on a walk on Sunday. It felt good.

Tonight at girl's night Christina told us about how a little while ago one of her friends told her that she wanted to go to God but she needed to get her life straightened out first. Christina told her that all you have to do is believe. He wants you as you are. You don't have to "fix" yourself first. Christina had the privaledge of baptising her friend over the weekend. When she told us that tonight I could see the emotion in her face...in her eyes. To baptise someone that you've helped come to God along the way....wow....I can't even imagine what an amazing feeling that was for her. I hope someday I get to experience something even half as powerful as that.

After hearing of Lacie's brother and Christina's brother and so many things lately that are basically miracles...completely out of the blue, unexpected things...it's really been restoring my faith in what kind of power He posseses.

And frankly, it's kind of stunning...and altogether terrifying.

Limbo

Harold: You hop in any car you want and just drive off?
Maude: Well, not any car -- I like to keep a variety. I'm always looking for the new experience.
Harold: Maybe. Nevertheless, I think you're upsetting people. I don’t know if that's right.
Maude: Well, if some people get upset because they feel they have a hold on some things, I'm merely acting as a gentle reminder: here today, gone tomorrow, so don't get attached to things. Now, with that in mind, I'm not against collecting stuff...


Here today....gone tomorrow. It's ridiculous how fast things can change. In an instant your mood can change. Your life can change. I need that change right now. Either that or I need something familiar. I'm in a bit of a limbo. I think maybe I just need to feel something other than what I'm feeling now.

If I had the money, I'd just go somewhere. I'd take a picture of my feet in the sand.