Between perfect and terrible.

Just when I'd finished my multi-paragraphed complain-fest 2011 post, I read another blog that I frequent and at the very end says this:

"Everyone can look perfect or they can look terrible. And it’s true for every job, as well. Every boss. Every co-worker.

It’s a pretty safe bet that we all live our lives somewhere between the perfect and the terrible. And nothing is really really good always. But there is still sometimes. Because the really really good parts exist only in brief moments.

So when you think you need to switch jobs, or switch cities, or switch spouses, or switch any of the other bazillion things that you might feel are not as good as they should be, remind yourself that your job, your family, and even your dinners are probably pretty much the same as everyone else’s. And remind yourself to enjoy those brief, really, really good parts." Found Here

So I asked Chris on gchat to tell me something really, really good about my job. But before he could answer me my manager came over to my desk and asked to see me in the conference room for a minute. Expecting some lame bi-quarterly-annual reviewthatmeansnothing, I was surprised when she said "What should have taken 3 weeks, took 7 months. Sorry it took so long... you've now been bumped up to a level 2 Record Tech."

Along with the promotion comes a raise. A small one, but it's something. She explains that when I was re-hired a few years ago, they'd started me back making much more than others on the same level. I'm not sure why.

So, maybe it's true... We all live our lives somewhere between perfect and terrible. When I think I need to switch jobs because it's not as good as it should be, I need to remind myself of the brief really, really good parts. Like promotions and raises and days off. And sometimes I just need to say "Shaunna, quit your bitchin'."

Streaming

This week has kicked my butt.
So did last week.
The next two will be hell since we'll be short a team member at work.
Martha is probably allergic to pimentos.
Does that mean she might be allergic to other peppers too?
Did you even know that pimentos are peppers?
I want a new camera so so so so so bad.
I'm thinking about having a yard sale.
Not that it will get me the $3k I need for my dream camera.
But it will get some of the junk out of my house.
And maybe $100 in my pocket.
Did I mention Chris got a promotion?
So proud of him...

In regards to my last blog:

My cousin, Ginger, posted a quote on twitter yesterday that really struck a cord with me.

"Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through."
— Ira Glass

So, there's that. Which, directly correlates with my frustrations that I wrote about before with doing video. I get frustrated because my stuff disappoints me. And maybe it's like what Brooke commented saying that anyone can be an expert at anything if they put an enormous amount of time into it.

I'm still getting a nice dslr, just one with video capabilities. And maybe I will do both video and photos. Maybe I will enjoy video the more I practice. Maybe I'll enjoy photos more. We'll see. I guess what I'm saying is that I won't give up on video just yet. But I'm not holding off on photos either.

Now I just need a couple thousand dollars to get the camera of my dreams...

Working for The Man

I was brought up surrounded by normal people working normal jobs. The kind where you get up every morning, go do your job, and then come home in the evening. Monday through Friday, you worked. That was just life.

It never occurred to me that at some point in my life I could chose to do things differently. I could have a kind of job where I made my own schedule, or even be a stay at home mom/wife. Ok, so the SAHM or SAHW thing isn't incredibly realistic for most because of the issue of money, but you get what I'm saying....I just never thought it to be an option. I don't recall either of my parents telling me that I could do such things. But I don't recall them telling me that going to an office M-F, 9-5 is the only way to do things either.

When I stumbled upon this realization that I could be free from the restraints of The Man, it was like my eyes were opened for the first time. Why hadn't I thought of this 5 years ago before I was married and had a baby? It would have been easier to get started in something like that back then. Now I have responsibilities and obligations to monetarily contribute every 2 weeks.

When I had my moment of clarity I immediately started thinking about what I could do that would bring in enough income to counteract what I would normally make working for The Man. Around that same time, I saw a video someone had done for a wedding of a girl I am acquainted with. It was the coolest looking 3 minute wedding video ever.

The conversation in my head:
I could make videos!
I don't have a camera.
I will get a camera and I will make videos.
I don't know how to edit or shoot. I've never done it before.
I will learn.

So, I got a camera and I'm learning. But I'm slowly realizing that I'm not very good at making videos. I know it will get better with time and experience, but at this point, I'm making lame home videos, at best.

Let me just go ahead and confess something. Doing video wasn't my first choice. Photography was. But do you know how many photographers I'm friends with? Like, a billion. You know what there needs to not be more of in Atlanta? Photographers.

So, here I am. Making bad videos. Really wishing I could make good photos. Thinking I might be stuck in this rat race.

I pretended to be young again.

I needed to come back to work this morning to get a rest from this past weekend. Oh, it was fun. Lots of fun. But I'm sure my body is not made to be a mom, wife, maid, AND partier. I think you can only be 3 our of 4 of those things. Pick and chose.

We were pretty non-stop from Saturday morning until Sunday night. Went to Atlanta both days, saw friends both days. Martha got to spend more quality time with Grana (who she actually calls Nana now) Saturday night while Chris and I were pretending to be young people.

I got some really great video of people at Ashely's party. I brought my laptop to work today to work on the editing on my lunch break. I just really wish the lighting could have been better, but it was night, so what are you gonna do? Oh, have a light on your camera? Yeah, I have one of those, but people tend to freeze and stop talking when they notice they're being filmed.

The video should be up within a few days. Prepare yourselves to see a bunch of drunk people saying happy birthday and Ashley dancing on the bar. Because that is definitely what the entire video will consist of.

4th of July

We had a very boring 4th of July. Since Martha is still young and acts like a monster when we try to keep her awake past 8:00, we weren't able to go watch any fireworks. Plus, it was all kinds of gross and rainy outside. Wet everywhere. So being out there would have been nasty.

We dressed her up anyway though. And I'm super excited that she'll finally leave a bow in her hair now.





We did go swimming at the Swanson's the day before though. I got her to leave these sunglasses on for a good 30 seconds. Score!



We're trying to figure out how we can afford to take a cruise sometime soon. Sure, the cruise is only $250-ish a person during the time we want to go, but then you have the cost of driving or flying to Florida, plus cost of a hotel the night before if your boat leaves in the morning. We were even considering a weekend cruise and then staying in Orlando for a day afterward to extend the vacation, but then there's costs that go along with all of that too. So, should we drop a grand on a 4-5 day vacation? Well, no, we SHOULDN'T. But will we because this will be our last vacation for at least a few years probably? We're still not sure... We're going to sit down tonight and see where we can come up with this money. Yard sale, anyone?